I have come to realize

That this life is not at all what I ever expected it to be, and I'm so happy about that. How often do we limit what the Lord can do by making plans that only fulfill our own desires? Yet, when we allow him to take absolute control he is able to do what he does best, create us into what he intended for us to be. I was created to be a light, an inspiration, a guide for Christ. And while I may not be getting towards his plans in the way that I first desired, this journey is so much more than I ever could have dreamed. I have an amazing husband, an amazing job, and an amazing church. What more could a girl ask for? My God is the God who provides, and he's proving that now. He's providing for me financially, emotionally and spiritually in ways that would seem impossible to the world and that's so exciting. I want to be used to prove that anything is possible with God. I want to be an example. I want to be so much more than what I feel I am now.

Lord,
Take me to the next level. I don't always feel ready for it, but it truly is my heart's desire. Mold me and shape me, bend me and break me. I'm not satisified, I'm greedy and I want more. More of your presence and more of your love and more of your embrace. Here I am saying here I am Lord, send me!